The moment

They said the impression I gave to them was my smile.  Whenever and wherever they saw me, I was wearing a smile on my face.  I took it as a compliment and smiled back to them when I heard of their words.  However, who knows the smiles were worn because of speechlessness.  A smile can hide a lot of things, the things I cannot tell.

I have been hiding a lot of emotions and words in my heart since the moment of unexpectedness dashed into my life.  I started to doubt, wonder, ponder, fear and disguise.  I started to use smiles as a response to people’s questions and curious looks.  I could read their mind and know what they were trying to say, but all I would do was to smile back to them.

The night, I sensed a great distance between people and I in a harmonious atmosphere.  Although everyone was smiling back to me, their smiles couldn’t reach my heart.  I believed that their smiles were sincere, but somehow I felt that they were also putting on smiles on their faces because they didn’t know what to say to me.  In some of their eyes, I no longer read curiosity but hedges.   Thank you for not touching upon this.

Yet, could you read my mind… …

Never known

 

 

 You are a stranger to me or I am a stranger to you.  I cannot tell.  The only thing I can be sure is that we have never

 

wanted to be like this when we were doomed to be apart.  Are we strangers?  A Stranger should be someone you have

 

never known in your life, but we used to feel for each other deep within our hearts.  Maybe I should call ourselves

 

"familiar strangers" or "unfamiliar friends".  We are not strangers but just distant in hearts.  You are so distant from me

 

that I cannot reach you, even just a "hello".  Just want to say "I really miss you" although you will never know that I do

 

miss you.

对不起

 

 

 

 

对不起…….

 

因为执着，因为自私，因为低落的情绪，让你担心，让你伤心。

 

从来不清楚自己的语气，自己的言语，也不知道说话的会有影响力。虽然对于我来说，只是随便的一句，

 

我以为自己隐藏得很好，我以为没有人清楚我。。。。对不起。 是我的错，是我自己选择的路，请你不

 

要为我担心，我也会好好照顾自己，你和爸爸永远是我最爱的人。

 

这些情况只是过渡性，我也不会长久地走下去，我会给自己一个限期。很想能靠自己完成一件事，不希望

 

你们再帮助我，保护得太好，让我不懂得怎么走下去，不懂怎么面对以后的人生，你们不能陪我一辈子，

 

请让我独自面对。

成功让我学会坚持

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

遲了嗎

 

 

今日又系咩都做唔倒，個天好似有心同我講，其實要計劃早一D。明明一件好普通既事情，10分鐘可以做完，結果依加要等多幾日。但系我好怪，偏偏要到最后既時刻先覺得“做倒野”。

 

反常，感覺好反常，到底呢D系咩野感覺。很怪，那樣東西會在不同的情況下以不同的方式出現，而你也會不經意甘睇倒，你會覺得，可能個天知道你念緊咩野，又或者系個天安排緊呢樣野。

 

后果，不知道會有什么后果。我發覺以前真的很勇敢，不會考慮，只要喜歡就什么都可以。 都因為以前，我學會了膽小，現在覺得任何時候，都不可以再依靠感覺，因為所有野，每天都在變化，今天你認為很好的，一年一天，不會像從前。是否真的累了，還是真的膽小了。甘辛苦爬翻起身，邊個又會想跌翻低。

 

今日雖然什么都做唔倒，但我念倒呢三樣野，唔知道有無幫助，但如果有的話，希望唔會太遲。不奢望所有野都會變得好好，只求順順利利。

 

笑并不代表快樂，放棄并不代表不愛

 

 

快樂是幸福的源泉，即使不快樂，也不應該把感覺傳遞給別人，想讓別人也得到幸福，最簡單的方法，就是對著別人微笑。習慣這樣做，而我也一直這樣做，但是… …

 

在笑臉背后，在那個靜夜里，在喧嘩的人后才顯示出絲絲自卑，深深自責。一個我，多少的了解和認識？一個都沒有… …那一個連我自己都不認識的感覺,誰會知曉他的存在… …

 

越是寂寞的夜，越是讓人另有所牽，夜和靜總能讓人有空，有機會，有條件想很多，也能想清楚很多，其實，我比誰都了解，我并不是一個堅強的人。

 

一個同樣的問題，兩個不同的答案。“如果… …會怎樣” 而這個問題… …自己亦一早有了答案。 

 

 

忙里也要偷閑

 

 

繁忙的3個月,那些透不過气的感覺…

 

我還是我，那麽不自覺，辛苦工作一天，還是跑去玩。媽媽說，人的身體到我這個時候開始會走下坡路，我說，沒有意義的人生，給我100歲也是無奈的，雖然累，但我很充實。

 

轉換了一下視覺環境，感覺并不新鮮，或許新鮮會是一些沒有見過的面孔。儘管看見你們一對對，心裏的還是帶著祝福。一聲“老公，老婆” 似曾相識，只是感覺陌生了…

 

回廣州的路上，電話開始響過不停，還沒有回到出發地點，已經要赶回公司，繼續閉氣，可是還要繼續生存。很辛苦吧，已經習慣了。